![]() Every episode in this reboot was remarkably lame. But emotionally, in the depths of my soul, I understand exactly what I mean. Grammatically, I’m not sure that makes sense. The entire existence of this reboot is checkers, in fact. ![]() Sending in a bombshell tip to Gossip Girl is like playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. Gossip Girl is the weapon of choice on the Upper East Side. Gossip Girl is a method of getting ahead. Part of the error, too, is the general misunderstanding of all that Gossip Girl can do. Which is a bummer, because in the first run, part of the fun was trying to guess who this mysterious entity was. Oh, yeah - it’s the teachers who are Gossip Girl in this one, which we learn very early on. It’s really just about a bunch of teachers, who are “bored with their own lame lives” (thank you, “Mean Girls”), with no idea how to discipline. Oh, and being on HBO Max didn’t even make it edgier. None of the actors had particularly good chemistry. The soundtrack didn’t mix indie, pop and rock well enough to be exemplary. The fashion was subpar, looking more trendy than timeless, like I’d see it walking around campus. I’m so tired of the influencer trope: Julien Calloway (Jordan Alexander), a Serena knock-off, did nothing remarkable with her platform, ultimately deciding to do a series called “Stop the Story,” which is about telling the truth or something. Legends aside, though - I have to talk about the recently-canceled reboot.Įnter the yawn of the century: “Gossip Girl,” HBO Max edition.Ī romp through these characters’ lives, regardless of how rich they were, felt like something I already knew. Serena may be the “it girl” of the Upper East Side, but Blair is Queen B, ruling with a bit of an iron fist, a disdain for leggings as pants and a weakness for headbands. She’s the moment.Īnd then there’s Blair, the heart of the show. ![]() I mean, for god’s sake - the girl pinned her graduation tassel to her hair. The two can coexist and Serena exemplifies that. She seems like the character who has it all - because she does - but she does “having it all” better than anyone. Her swank is somehow breezy, her blasé attitude toward brunch and boys is somehow aspirational and her naïveté is somehow something to envy. He is every nerd who is actually kinda dumb and less clever than the very people he intends to mock. He is every “nice guy” who turns out to be wimpy and weak but thinks he deserves everything. He is every annoying wannabe writer who has graced the streets of Brooklyn. Lonely Boy constantly complains about living in Brooklyn in a multimillion-dollar loft owned by his former-rocker-turned-gallery-owner-and-waffle-makin’-father Rufus Humphrey, but he’s a necessary evil. That show built a world of characters and schemes unlike anything we’d ever seen.Īt the core of the story, Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) wants Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively). Played by a brash and biting Leighton Meester in the original “Gossip Girl,” there has never been anyone else like her on TV. That line is from the excellently developed, conniving-yet-loyal Blair Waldorf. ![]() In today’s television, our characters must try to right their wrongs, watch their tongues and speak with a triteness that is clearly meant to only carry plot, not wit - or else we seem to feel bad about watching it. In the world of TV, is a good line still king? Is it still okay to be mean - and say the wrong thing? If we’re going by the rules of the failed “Gossip Girl” reboot, I’d have to say no.
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